did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
