I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize