so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
