when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
