went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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