Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize