Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
