I just cut my nipple shaving
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
