"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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