girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
