Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
