I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
