Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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