oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
