When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
