We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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