so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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