You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
