i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
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