it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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