I'm so fucking centered right now
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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