I cockslap morals
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
