I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
