I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
