Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize