is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
