I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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