Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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