I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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