Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
