Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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