Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
