I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
