oh god the rape fog is back!
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I cut my penus on the lid.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
