Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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