Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
