If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
