i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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