Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize