if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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