If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
