just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
