i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
