I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize