Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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