R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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