She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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