i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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