I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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