You're so nebulous sometimes
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
