you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
