I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
