Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
