I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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