He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
How naked do you want me to be?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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