she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Randomize
