I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
