I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
