I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
