You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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