I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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