I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
