At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
