your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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