worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
