so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
