Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
