he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
