you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
