Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
pray to the hookup gods
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
