Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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