what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
