Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
