You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
