Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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