u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
